Consider this. Roughly 30% of the US population today hadn’t been born on 9/11. About 45% hadn’t been born when the stock market precipitously crashed in 1987. And just about the same percentage weren’t born, or at an age where they were able to comprehend the gravity of the situation, during the most frightening years of the AIDS epidemic. Besides these major global catastrophes, many younger people have not yet experienced the enormous and many personal challenges that life inevitably brings, and from which people learn so much.
No wonder then that so many of you are experiencing confusion, panic, anger and unfortunately in some cases, misguided responses, as COVID 19 spreads and kills without an end in sight. For most of you, there’s no frame of reference for anything even close to the havoc it’s wreaking. Many of you don’t know where to turn, how to respond, or even how to act.
There’s so much you can learn from your elders, those who’ve witnessed, processed, and understood so much from having experienced so much. They’re elders not necessarily as a result of chronological age but for their keen ability to acquire wisdom and remain curious through life’s most trying twists and turns. Elders possess enormous empathy and they’re wise from having emerged for the better on the other side of devastation.
I reached out to a few elders I know (for the record, I’m an elder too). They are people whom I turn to for guidance and direction and who possess a wisdom I know many others cherish too. They are successful business owners, tech leaders, writers, leadership coaches, entrepreneurs. They have lived lives rich in experience, and I know them to learn from those experiences to reshape themselves and grow. I asked them for pearls of perspective they might share with you as you maneuver through this current pandemic. Here’s a bit of what I heard.
“One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is to look outside yourself when facing tough times. This may sound counterintuitive, but when we focus on how we can serve others in our multiple circles - family members, colleagues, friends, spiritual circles, neighborhoods, and communities-we find the meaning, connections, and opportunities that will serve us so well after the crisis has passed.” (David A., New York)
“Having lived through so many events that were unprecedented --- until they happened --- I think I’ve gotten good at taking things as they come and readjusting from each new point. There ‘ll be time to think about the longer term. But in the moment, stay planted: What do I have the power to do right now, and then the moment after that? A lot falls away (or can wait) because of what you don’t know yet.” (Karen W., San Francisco)
“Complex times lead to essential answers: breathe, love, be kind, share, live in your heart, care for yourself and those you love and even those you don’t know. Tomorrow will be tomorrow but today is for love.” (John H., Santa Barbara)
"When I was traveling to be with my mother for what would most likely be the last time (and it was), my good friend and business partner stopped me and said ‘which of your practices can you use to support yourself and others during what is sure to be a difficult time?’ That small pause, the reminder that I had tools to draw on, had an outsize impact. I’ll always be grateful for that potent reminder. We already have the tools. We just need to remember to use them.” (Christine A., Todos los Santos, Mexico)
“In times of change and uncertainty, and especially in times of social isolation and distance, it’s more important than ever to see more of ourselves in others. The very thing that separates us is the thing that connects us. Taking care of yourself so you can take care of others and being of service to others is the best way to mitigate feelings of confusion and fear. Smile with your eyes, even from a distance. Check in with friends and family a little more than usual. This time of quiet and isolation is an especially potent time to ask yourself if what you’ve been doing is really working for you, and what you might want to do differently.” (Andrew B., San Francisco)
“When the world is consumed with headlines like we have today, it means it’s time to go the extra mile with the people who are most important to us and spend quality time to help, comfort, listen, and show how we truly feel about them. Every one of us is a son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, spouse and/or close friend of others. People react to stress in different ways, and we all need to be extra sensitive and have a heightened sense of how we can best help those that depend on us for strength and support.” (Karl S., Los Angeles)
Interestingly, while each response has its unique perspective, there is a lot of commonality in what I received. Much of that revolves around the view that we are not singular but rather part of a whole. And why we are literally being called to be singular physically, our greater calling is to come together more than ever.
While I’m not advocating that you violate social distancing rules or self-quarantine measures, I am exhorting you to seek out an elder you know, get them to share their stories, learn from the past they’ve already lived, and repackage their wisdom to help yourself and others get through this extraordinary time.
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